Not The Usual Cold Christmas
by AbsoluteAddiction-x
Summary: Hikaru's Christmas definately wasn't turning out all rainbows and sunshine. Could anyone change that? // HikaHaru // Rated T For Angst //


**Hey there again!**

**This was a little fic that popped into my head one day in I.T, and I decided to write it down.**

**And before anyone says anything, YES, I am aware that the Japanese don't celebrate Christmas in the same way that we do in the Western world, but for the sake of this story, we're going to pretend for a little while that they do. Ok?**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy this little spark of inspiration!**

**Warning: OOC-ness may ensue …? Oh, and angst...**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Ouran High School Host Club or any of its characters, do you really think I'd be sat here writing this now? No. I'd be off tormenting my friend Chloe with that fact. Cos I'm just that nice :)**

**Oh, and I feel I must credit my amazing beta, Chloe (a.k.a. Fangirl.x) seeing as I haven't credited her before. Thank you! **

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Winter had once again decided to pay a visit to the prestigious Ouran Academy, and the epitome of the season of parties had finally arrived.

Christmas. A time for friends and festivities, for kotatsu and kin. A happy time when laughter could be heard and smiles that could warm the most frozen hearts were witnessed frequently.

Well, that's how it was supposed to be.

Hikaru found himself alone in the room that he shared with Kaoru, whilst sounds of their staff bustling around the house could be heard. Excited chatter and quiet laughter seeped through the bedroom door, only to seemingly freeze in the icy atmosphere that had descended. Kaoru's insistent banging on the door had ceased about ten minutes earlier - his siblings annoyed protests about being locked out of his own room disappearing along with his padding footsteps along the hall – and now the echoing absence that Hikaru felt was magnified. _This is all her fault! I thought we were all supposed to be friends!_

Hikaru's thoughts flashed back to 4 days ago when the first sign of what was to come had reared its head…

"_Kyoya-senpai, can I speak to you for a moment, please?" Club had ended for the day, and everyone was scattered around the room, set on their own little tasks, but Haruhi has risen from the chair where she had been reading and made her way over to the table where Kyoya was calculating…something. _Who knows what he puts in that little black book of his…

_He looked startled by her sudden request, a small crease appearing on his forehead – Haruhi never went out of her way to speak to him unless it was something _really _important. "Sure, Haruhi, what can I do for you?"_

_Removing a small, thin package wrapped in dark blue paper from her bag, she began: "Would you please accept this gift? I mean, I know you probably have so many much nicer things already, but seeing as it's Christmas I just wanted to get you something; you know just –"_

_Her words – which were on the verge of becoming babbling – were cut short when Kyoya reached out and took the package from her out-stretched hands and looked up at her, "Of course I'll accept it Haruhi. Thank you."_

_Haruhi flashed a smile to him and turned, heading back to her discarded book, missing the rare, genuine smile that crossed Kyoya's face as he examined the package, and ignoring the squeals of delight coming from Tamaki's general direction (the exchange hadn't gone unnoticed by everyone else) "Oh how wonderful! Daughter has brought a commoners Christmas gift for Kyoya! Do you have one for Daddy too!?"_

Hikaru snorted. Tamaki could be so stupid sometimes. _When will he finally realise that Haruhi isn't his daughter, and what he feels isn't 'fatherly affection'; as he's named it? _

Hikaru had to admit though, when he had spotted Haruhi handing over that tiny package to Kyoya, he had felt the fire of jealousy burning green in his eyes. What makes Kyoya so special? _It isn't even like Haruhi likes him all that much anyway._

His mind returned to the events that he had witnessed the day after this as he paced the room absent-mindedly, pausing only to rest his head against the cool, frosted window pane...

_Three Days Ago_

_The lunch bell had rung and a steady torrent of blue and yellow, like a sun-dashed river, was making its way to the Academy lunch room. Haruhi always ate her lunch in the classroom, so when Hikaru noticed her get up and leave, it sparked his curiosity and, without knowing exactly why, he found himself telling Kaoru to go on ahead of him and then pacing down the hallways after Haruhi._

_It wasn't long before she entered a third year classroom and he found himself skulking outside. _God, he was such a stalker.

_Anyway, it soon became apparent that she had struck up conversation with Hunny-senpai and Mori-senpai, their high-pitched and sonorous voices rising above the quiet murmuring of chatter that filled the rest of the classroom._

"_Yaaaay! Thank you so much Haru-chan, of course we'll accept these gifts from you!"_

"_Yeah, thanks."_

He had heard a muffled squeak – he could only assume that Hunny or Mori (or perhaps even both) had hugged her, cutting off her response. Soon after this, he had stalked off back to the dining hall in a sour mood. _First Kyoya, then Hunny-senpai and Mori-senpai – what about me?! _He was sure Kaoru knew something was bothering him, but after Hikaru nearly took his brother's head off when he had enquired about it, Kaoru had let it go - just that one time.

The sounds that were previously floating about the hallway outside the room had quieted, indicating that everyone had moved to some other part of the house, if only for a little while.

_Two Days Ago_

"_Oh Haruhi! Of course Daddy will accept this wonderful gift from his wonderful amazing thoughtful daughter! I cannot wait to see what you deemed a suitable gift for me! Ooh, is it more '_Instant Ramen'_? Or is it some other brand of food that commoners enjoy eating?"_

"_Calm down senpai, it's just a little thing that I thought you might like. And no, it isn't edible."_

_Tamaki froze, his mouth mere centimetres away from the pristinely wrapped present. Coughing, and lowering the gift once again, he grinned almost manically at Haruhi and leapt forward in an attempt to once again hug his 'precious Haruhi'._

_Of course, Haruhi had stepped away from that bumbling idiot's embrace, grimacing at him when he fell flat on his face due to her evasive manoeuvres. This then, of course, sent Tamaki into his famous emo corner of depression, where he then proceeded to hug the sparkly blue package to his chest and mutter the same old thing about 'his loving daughter being so heartless towards him' and something about 'those shady twins'._

At this part of the memory, Hikaru couldn't help but give a wry smile. True, he might not necessarily be Haruhi's favourite person, but he sure ranked _way_ above 'milord. But then, as soon as the pathetic attempt at a smile had crossed his face, it disappeared as he was once again reminded of the fact that Tamaki had gotten a gift from Haruhi, whilst he remained present-less.

Jerking him away from his revere, three short, sharp taps on his door preceded Kaoru's voice. "Hikaru, you have to come downstairs." Stony silence.

Kaoru's betrayal had probably hurt the most. Hikaru knew that he was probably over-reacting; he knew that his brother hadn't knowingly 'betrayed' him. But that's what made it all the more worse… in his mind anyway; Kaoru hadn't told Hikaru, he didn't even know that Hikaru knew about the cosy little exchange he had witnessed only the day before.

_Yesterday_

"_Kaoru, we're leaving now, the car's waiting." _

_Host Club had ended about twenty minutes earlier, and Hikaru had found himself wandering the deserted Academy hallways, alone; Tamaki,Hunny,Mori and Kyoya had all gone home, Haruhi had disappeared off somewhere (probably a sale at some supermarket or something, he had thought) and Kaoru had excused himself to supposedly 'go to the bathroom'._

_That had been ten minutes ago, and Hikaru had grown bored of waiting for his twin to return so they could go home together. "Kaoru, move your ass, we're going" he called out once again, only to receive no reply. He sighed. _Where the hell was he_?_

_Hikaru had turned to look out one of the many windows that lined the halls, and spied a dash of reddish hair under the shadow of a tree, down in the grounds. At first he had been puzzled – _why the hell was Kaoru standing under a tree by himself when he knew perfectly well that I'm waiting for him up here?

_Then his eyes had spotted the figure that was standing in front of Kaoru; said figure had cropped chestnut hair. No prizes for guessing who._

_Hikaru watched on, half puzzled and half annoyed – what were they talking about and why had they excluded him? He could only stare as a brightly coloured package was exchanged between them. He was frozen when he saw the pair embrace briefly before separating, waving and going their separate ways._

Great_. So now _Kaoru_ had a present _and_ it was obvious that Haruhi liked him back. Things just couldn't get any better, could they? _Note the sarcasm.

So yeah, that's how he had ended up alone, annoyed and aggitated. And on Christmas. Just perfect.

"Hikaru! Open the door..."Kaoru pleaded (yes, _pleaded_) again.

"Why the hell should I?"

He heard a sigh from the other side of the wooden door. "Because your being stupid Hikaru; why isolate yourself like this? You know I hate being away from you..."

"No." _Brilliant reply there, Hikaru. _Even though it _did _pain Hikaru to seperate himself from his twin for such a... well, _immature_ reason, he made no attempt to open the door.

Huffing disgruntledly, Kaoru kicked the door one more time before storming off down the hallway again. "Fine then! Be like that!"

Revelling in the silence that once again encased him, Hikaru threw himself down onto the double bed in the centre of the room, a hand clamped over his eyes, as if by blocking out the light, he could also block out the rest of the world. Rolling onto his side, his eyes drifted to a picture frame on the table next to the bed; it held a photograph that had been taken back in the summer; it showed himself, Kaoru and Haruhi in their swimwear on Kyoya's private beach. Both he and Kaoru had an arm slung around Haruhi's waist, who happened to be squashed in between them, cheesy grins plastered to all of their faces, a glorious sunset painting the sky a menagerie of oranges and pinks.

Hikaru remembered that day. It had been absolutely sweltering, and when Tamaki had suggested they all spend the day together at Kyoys's beach, no-one had complained. Because it was a _private _beach, Haruhi hadn't had any excuse to escape the onslaught of feminine beach-wear that was literally forced on her by Tamaki, who was caught up in another one of his 'Summer Mind Theatres'. She had managed to escape the - what she called 'horrific' - barely-there bikinis and ended up in a pale blue tankini-style outfit; the top had a simple black rose embossed near the hem, and the bottoms were like shorts. She was more exposed than she would have liked (and certainly made that known through her protests) but eventually gave in, knowing that she was stuck with it (_someone _had hidden her regular shorts and t-shirt, cutting off that route of escape).

They had eventually spent the day just having fun ; swimming in the ocean, watching as Haruhi eagerly went to go shellfish hunting with Hunny again (she had really enjoyed her last experience on Nekozawa's beach) and laughing as Tamaki struggled to escape the sand after Hikaru and Kaoru had somehow managed to persuade him to let them try burying him up to his neck (Hikaru vaguely remembered promising something like getting Haruhi to dig Tamaki out...). At the end of the day, Haruhi had ventured for a walk along the beach and Kaoru suggested that himself and Hikaru accompany her; she didn't say no, so they followed her anyway.

Away from the others, they had lapsed into comfortable, companionable conversation; the atmosphere had been easy and they were just enjoying each others company. Someone had eventually mentioned the sunset, and Haruhi had marvelled at how beautiful it was. Without pause,Kaoru had grabbed his camera which he had kept attatched to his wrist all day (incase photo opportunities arose, of course), placed in on a nearby rock, set the timer and the trio had all posed whilst the camera flashed, immortalising the moment in film.

It had been such a perfect day, he had felt so happy that night as he rested his head on his pillow, a smile on his face as he slipped into a dream. Now, though, all he felt when he looked at that picture was the urge to smash something.

And that's just what he did.

The picture frame flew threw the air before crashing into the wall, shards of glass flying everywhere like a deadly crystal shower. It tumbled to the floor and lay, broken, happy faces still smiling up vacantly through the shattered frame. Ghosts of laughter and words echoed in Hikaru's ears, seeming to taunt and torment him. He wanted things to go back to being like that; he wanted it so much that it actually hurt. _She tore me and Kaoru apart... I should hate her... why don't I hate her? ... why _can't _I hate her? _

Deep down, Hikaru knew the answer to that question; he had known it for a long time now.

It was because he loved her.

Even if he _hadn't _felt himself being drawn to her as much as he had, he was certain that he could _never _have hated her. It was impossible for him.

Glancing over at the broken remains of the picture frame, Hikaru felt an dull ache in his chest - he regretted throwing the frame. He tried to ignore it, but it felt as though it was constanly tugging at the edges of his mind, always drawing his eyes back to it when they swept across the room. It was an irrational need - he _knew _that it was irrational - but there was something that just wouldn't let his mind rest whilst the debris lay abandoned on the floor; for some reason he had convinced himself that if he could fix the broken picture frame, then everything else would be fixed too, that they could return to being like that again. He suddenly jumped up, unable to wait until later when he would undoubtedly have to leave the room and the staff would clear it away, and all-but clambered over to the frame and started to gather up the pieces, cutting his hands on the sharp edges of the glass every-so-often. Nothing too serious, but enough that he was aware of it.

After cutting himself for the fifth time, he sat back on the glass-free floor near the bed and sighed. He couldn't pick up all of this glass with his bare hands. He turned his head towards the bedroom door, trying to solve the argument in his head : _leave the room and retrieve something to help him pick up broken glass without shredding his fingers, or stay in the room and be tormented by the destroyed frame? _Eventually, one side won, and he pushed himself up from the floor and quietly walked over to the door. He pressed his ear against the door, listening for any signs that Kaoru still lingered on the other side; he heard nothing. Slowly unlocking and opening the door, he slipped out of the room and closed it silently behind him - _if it was closed, perhaps people_ (Kaoru) _would still think that it was locked. _Hikaru moved as quickly as he could down the halls and soon enough returned to the hall outside his room, dustpan and brush in hand; he didn't know that such thing existed in the house, and he _certainly _couldn't picture himself using it, but here he was.

Pushing the door open again, he squeezed back inside and leaned again the wood again, thanking whatever was out there for letting him make it there and back, unseen.

"So that's where you went." Hikaru jumped at the sound of his brother's voice. He saw Kaoru sat on the edge of the bed with the shattered photo frame in his hands, a sad smile playing across his lips as he surveyed the damage.

"Kaoru, please get out, I want to be alone."

"Do you remember when this was taken? It was at the beach that day, when we buried Tono in the sand. We laughed about it for weeks afterwards, teasing him and constantly reminding him. And Haruhi was in that cute little bathing suit; i didn't think Tamaki was going to be able to stop himself from confessing to her there and then..."

Hikaru squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the room and the sound of his brother's voice ; he had been through this already, he didn't want to have to relive what couldn't be again. "Kaoru... please... just leave me alone..."

"And can you remember the look on Haruhi's face when she found that giant crab on that rock? She looked so happy... And this picture, it was so spontaneous that we didn't have time to pose properly, we just threw an arm around her and all leaned in. She laughed more than I'd ever heard her that day, maybe we should ask Kyoya to borrow his beach again; or maybe we should take her to ours this time? Just the three of us. Wouldn't that be great, Hikaru? It would be so much -"

"KAORU, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PAST. IT'S OVER, DONE FINISHED - WE CAN'T _EVER GO BACK!" _Hikaru's patience had snapped. "WHY BOTHER SITTING THERE AND REMEMBERING? _WHY KAORU?_" The dustpan that had previously been clutched in his hand spiralled through the air, missing Kaoru's head by inches; Kaoru hadn't even attempted to dodge the flying object, he had simply sat there, a look of both sadness and knowing on his face.

Not waiting around to see or hear his brother's response, Hikaru turned on heel and dashed from the room and out of the front door. He was fuming. However, he wasn't angry at Kaoru, so much, he was more angry at the fact that he _knew_ everything he had just yelled was true. They _couldn't _go back to those times, no matter how much they may want to.

Stomping off down the long gravel path that wound up to the main house, kicking up stones as he went, Hikaru paid little attention to where he was going. Nearing the main gate, he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn't notice anything that was going on around him. It wasn't until he found himself flat-out on the cold floor that Hikaru became aware of the other persons presence. And it still took Hikaru a few seconds before his mind registered who exactly it was who was now sprawled on top of his chest (in the fall he had grabbed hold and instinctively turned them so he would take the brunt of the fall - hey, he _was _still a gentleman, even if he didn't behave like it sometimes).

"Oh! Hikaru, there you are."

"H-Haruhi? What are you doing here?" Confusion furrowed his brow and coloured his voice as he surveyed the petite figure who was rolling off him as he spoke, and pushing herself up, brushing down her simple black coat before offering a him a hand.

Waving the hand away and hoisting himself up, he turned back to the girl who was the cause of all of his inner turmoil. _Strange. _He didn't feel so frustrated or depressed anymore - it was as though her simple presence had calmed a tempest that had been raging inside him, leaving behind a - void, where the anger and bitterness had previously simmered, now unoccupied and silent.

_I must really have it bad._

"Are you okay, Hikaru?" Concern leaked into her voice and Hikaru realised that he hadn't said anything for a minute; had simply stood and stared.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry. What about you?"

"Um, I'm fine... you kind of cushioned the fall" At this, the hint of a smile turned the edges of her mouth upwards infintesimally - Hikaru would probably have missed it if he hadn't been so transfixed. His own lips tugged upwards in sub-conscious response.

"Yeah, I guess I did," He rubbed his arm, which was starting to ache dully from the impact of it hitting the frozen ground, " But, what are you doing here anyway?"

Haruhi shuffled and dug her hands into her pockets, suddenly looking anxious. "Well, I was going to go to your house..."

"Why?" Hikaru couldn't think of a reason why she would want to come up to their house, on Christmas Day, no less _._ _Probably to see Kaoru _a voice in his head whispered maliciously_._ His thoughts once again blackened as he remembered the private meeting he had witnessed, the secret embrace. "Oh, I see. I'll take you to Kaoru, then."

Haruhi cocked her head to the side - she couldn't understand how Hikaru had come to that conclusion. Reaching out and grasping the sleeve of his shirt, halting his exit, she looked up at him. "Wait. I didn't come to see Kaoru- not that I don't _want _to see him - but I came to see _you, _Hikaru."

Hikaru stopped trying to shrug off her restraining hand and turned to face her once again. "You did?" He was baffled again. "Why did you want to see me?" He crushed the tiny flame of hope that had sparked in his chest- he couldn't afford to hope; it would just hurt all the more when she proved his hopes false.

"Well, I just wanted to give you your Christmas present."

This was not an answer that Hikaru had expected. "Wait. So you came all the way out to our house, on _Christmas Day , _to give me my present?" Hikaru secretly felt ecstatic about the fact that she was willing to do all that, just to deliver him a gift. However, he couldn't prevent the tiny bubble of bitterness that entered his voice whe he spoke next. "You finally remembered I exist, then?" He regretted the words the second they had left his mouth. _Why do I always have to be such a jerk to her? No wonder she likes Kaoru better than she likes me!_

Haruhi, however, didn't falter, a look of what could be compared to absolute resolve etched on her face. "I'm sorry, Hikaru; I didn't forget you existed. I just didn't want to... give you your present in front of all of the others..."

_What could she possibly have gotten me that she couldn't give me in front of anyone else???_

"What? Why? What did you get me that you didn't want the others to see? Couldn't you have given me it in the classroom, like you did with Hunny and Mori?" Haruhi looked slightly surprised - she hadn't known that Hikaru had been watching her when she had given gifts to Mori and Hunny that day. "Or how about a secret _rendezvous _like you had with _Kaoru_!?" Hikaru was working himself back up into a temper - thinking about the past few days did nothing but frustrate him.

Haruhi chuckled daintily, gazing upon Hikaru's aggravated features - _where does he think up these things?_. Just as he was about to start ranting again, he found that the words died in his throat as soon as Haruhi stretched up on her tiptoes, and pressed her lips sweetly to his; effectively ending _that _argument.

Hikaru's golden eyes widened on first contact - _whaat? _was all his mind could comprehend at first - but after a few seconds, they drifted closed dreamily and he leaned forward into the kiss. One arm snaked its way around Haruhi's waist, the other found purchase on the back on her head, tilting it up and preventing her from moving away - not that she was going to.

As their lips moved together in sync, her lips molding around his, Hikaru could only marvel at how she seemed to fit perfectly in his arms when he held her like this; could only be amazed by how soft and gentle her lips felt to him. All the anger that had begun brewing up inside him again had once again disappeared, except, unlike earlier, instead of there being a void left behind, the space was now filled with a feeling of warmth and euphoria. He forgot his bitterness at being ignored by her. He forgot his anger at Kaoru for not. He forgot every bad thing that he had felt over the previous days as the pair stood wrapped in each others arms on that freezing winter day.

Breaking away from his hungry lips, Haruhi took a step back, clutched his hand in hers and turned to look up at him.

"Happy Christmas, Hikaru."

For the first time in days, a blazing smile that would make even a blind man cover his eyes spread across Hikaru's face; his eyes twinkling with a luminous brightness. For the first time in days, he was truly happy.

"Happy Christmas, Haruhi."

xox

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**Wow... that sure turned out angstier than I originally intended xD**

**And a hell of a lot longer xD**

**Credit to my friend/ sub-beta Connor for giving me the ideas to stretch out this fic ^^**

**And super super credit to Super-Berry, who helped me smooth out some grammatical errors!**

**Ahh, I suck at grammar...**

**Please hit the big green button that's somewhere in the vicinity of down there, I would appreciate it lots ;D**

**AbsoluteAddiction-x **

**xo **


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